The Gray Area: A Poignant Case of Mistaken Identity Requires a C-A Student Hospital Volunteer to Display Maturity and Empathy

By Hanna Boehm

Special to the C-A Circuit

Editor’s Note: Coxsackie-Athens High School senior Hanna Boehm writes about a moving experience while volunteering at a local hospital that helped shape her growing sense of maturity and empathy, and her transition into adulthood.

There have been many experiences that marked my transition from childhood to adulthood.  But if I had to point to a specific time when I felt I began growing into adulthood, it was during my tenure volunteering at St. Peter’s Hospital in Albany.  Prior to my time at St. Peter’s, I didn’t quite realize how much growing up I still had left to do. Upon exposure to a hospital environment, however, I matured in ways that I never thought possible.

C-A senior Hanna Boehm

When I began volunteering at St. Peter’s, I was 15 years old, and at that time I actually believed that I was relatively mature.  I soon realized otherwise as I struggled with the basic task of navigating my way around the hospital. I attended a training session about basic hospital procedures, but I don’t think that orientation session, or any experiences in my life up to that point, could have prepared me for what I would be experiencing during my time volunteering at the hospital.

While there have been many experiences during my time at St. Peter’s that have required me to show maturity, there was one in particular that best illustrates my transition from childhood to adulthood.  I walked into an elderly woman’s room and before I could introduce myself as a volunteer, tears promptly began streaming down her face. She called me a name that has since slipped my mind and grabbed my hand and told me how nice it was to see me again.  Having never met this woman before, I stood there confused, but I played along with it simply because I was too shy and embarrassed to tell her the truth. She began talking of my “parents” and “cousins,” and I soon realized she thought I was her granddaughter.  

At the beginning of this conversation, I was very hesitant with my responses to her questions, and I debated telling her the truth so that I could get out of an awkward situation.  As the conversation went on, I found myself playing along and responding to her questions as if I was her granddaughter. It was like something had switched on inside me, and I was looking at this situation from a completely different perspective.  I still don’t know the reason why her granddaughter couldn’t be present at her bedside, but I do know that the hour I spent with this woman at her bedside was the happiest she had been for quite some time. This was confirmed to me by a nurse who told me that the woman had refused to talk to even the kindest nurses and doctors and previously had been content just staying to herself.  Upon reflecting on this experience, I realized that my first attitude in this situation had been quite childish because my biggest initial concern had been escaping from an awkward situation. The whole “me”-centered attitude I displayed here is one frequently associated with children, and I think I definitely fit the criteria in that initial moment.

This situation was a complex one to understand for an immature 15-year-old.  My decision to pretend I was her granddaughter having a conversation with her was a more mature one than I would have normally made at that time in my life.  This situation wasn’t one that can be categorized as “black or white,” because if you are looking at the situation from that perspective then it is difficult to justify deceiving an elderly woman by telling her that you are her granddaughter.  I think it is that “gray” area of thinking that really began to mark my transition from childhood to adulthood, because it takes a more mature mind to realize that the world isn’t simply one-dimensional. By acting as her granddaughter in this situation, I hope I offered this woman some peace, which I felt in this particular situation was more important than the truth.  

A week after my first meeting with the woman, she was on my list of people to visit again.  I saved her for last because I knew her visit would take the longest, but when I arrived at her room she wasn’t in there.  When I asked where the woman had gone, the nurse told me that she had passed away the day before. After hearing this, my heart broke as if I had lost my own grandmother.  I never found out if her actual granddaughter ever made it to see her, but I believe I was able to help her pass from this world in peace.

While writing this essay I thought back to my childhood and the habit I had of constantly asking my parents “why” questions, such as “Why is the sky blue?” My parents always tried their best to answer them, but sometimes they didn’t know the answer to my complex questions. My parents had the difficult task of explaining to a young child that there are just some things that we don’t understand.  I think that recognizing this is key to becoming a mature adult. I also think this relates to my experience with the elderly woman, because I don’t know why she thought I was her granddaughter, but I do know that my pretending to be that person lifted her spirits during an incredibly difficult time. I am proud to say that I have a better understanding of this “gray” area, and I can credit my experience with this woman in her hour of need for that realization.